Do you want gay kids?

The whole kerfuffle about Paladino’s comments is one I never really felt like commenting on, but I found myself listening to Lynn Samuels on Sirius Left (if you have the station, check her out; she’s probably the leftiest liberal on air and is good to get angry at) today when an old woman called and felt bad because her granddaughter had just had twins, and she found herself praying that one of them didn’t turn out gay.

Truthfully, I couldn’t say I disagreed with her.

Now, I will never, ever judge another human being over something as miniscule as sexuality. Hell I don’t even like it when sexuality is used as a noun because it implies that their identity is wrapped up in what they fuck. But I would imagine that, as a parent, one only wants what’s best for their kids and let’s face it: the world isn’t a kind place to the rainbow-colored citizens.

So it’s less a situation of hoping for one sexuality over another, and more a case of hoping that one’s child isn’t saddled with anything that will make their lives more difficult. It’s the biggest reason I’ll never buy the claim that sexuality is a choice: there’s no good reason to pick homosexuality over heterosexuality. You open yourself up to discrimination, possible hate crimes, not to mention a much reduced selection of partners. I, for one, would really hope that my potential offspring don’t have to face that kind of adversity.

Which isn’t to say that if life took a turn and that’s how they turn out, I would in any way want them to change. Far from it. I personally wouldn’t bat an eye. Would love to meet their partners and help plan the eventually-legal wedding. My only concern would be how the rest of the world treats ’em.

Of course, I also really don’t like children, so chances are this is a moot point for me, but whatever. What do you guys think? Am I off-base?


5 responses to “Do you want gay kids?

  1. Not to be too pessimistic, but there will always be some hateful ass who will find some reason to give your kid a hard time. If its not who they fuck it will be who they associate with or which god they believe in. As homosexuality is gradually becoming more accepted, a new social stigma will fill the void. The best we can do is teach our kids to how to handle any adversity without hate in their hearts.

  2. I understand your point Hanlon, and I agree to the extent that we just want what’s best for our children, but I also think what is best for them is what makes them truly happy so if they are gay then that is what’s best for them, even though they might face a harder life. I also agree with Andrew that there will always be someone somewhere who will make it their mission in life to make someone’s kids’ lives miserable. So finally, no I don’t think you are off-base.

  3. I think grandmother was incredibly brave & honest to express her fears and her shame for feeling them on a left-wing talk show! If I had been the host, I would have told her this: 1) If your God is a Santa Claus God who responds to prayer, your God could answer your prayer by making BOTH kids gay. 2) If your God is not a Santa Claus God, but a powerful & loving God who gives us the reality we NEED (not the one we WANT), then instead of judging what God may put on your plate as unacceptable or bad, try praying for the grace to accept whatever it may be as a gift, one that can help you grow, and for the strength to set an example of love, tolerance, dignity and courage for your grandchildren.

    • That’s what I mean. I’ve no doubt they’d be happy with themselves and lead long, awesome, fulfilling lives, but there’d be that concern that the world around them won’t be so accepting.

  4. I think the question itself is a bit disturbing. It reflects an attitude in our culture that parents get to decide what their children should be or at least should get to.

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