The Creation Museum is a joke, it has to be.

You know, I’m a charitable guy. I try to apply the credo of this site everywhere I can (note: it says “adequately”, not “feasibly”), and I generally prefer to give people the benefit of the doubt. I’m hitting my limit with this “Creation Museum” nonsense. I’m convinced this is a joke. A giant prank on the faithful.

The Creation Museum, for those unfamiliar, isn’t really a “museum” so much as it is a “Bible-based diorama.” Most museums are made by collecting archaeological evidence, or physical relics of some kind in the case of science or cultural, and then putting them on display. Exceptions are made in the case of many skeletal remains, as scientists get as much as they can and then extrapolate what the rest would look like to the best of their knowledge. In the case of something like the brontosaurus, they make a mistake but acknowledge it and fix it.

In a way, the CM is kind of a museum in reverse. Instead of collecting physical evidence and then displaying their findings, they take the conclusions and construct “evidence”. The vast majority of the displays are basically sculptures that interpret events as they would have happened according to God’s word.

Here’s a great photo gallery of someone’s visit. Let’s pick out a few choice cuts. Warning, you may become dumber simply by viewing these.

Out of the dozens of pictures this guy took, it’s almost impossible to be out the worst offenders, so in the interest of brevity I chose examples of the prevailing attitudes amongst the majority of the museum.

Right off the bat we get a primer for what’s to come. We know that their “methodology” is to assume that the Bible is right and then go from there. All four sentences are lies. The book is incredibly self-contradictory, the 2nd can’t be true since all translations differ, the 3rd is idiotic, and the 4th is crap because Biblical “prophecies” are only “proven true” ex post facto.

That “ex post facto” business seems to be how the Creation Museum works. As I scoped the photos, one thing became clear. The answer to everything, absolutely everything, was “well it had to have happened like that because The Bible says so.” Answers don’t involve evidence, but rationalization. Repeated, and increasingly painful, rationalization.

Proof in the pudding, as they say. Notice how nothing of this involves real evidence, just sitting around constructing ways to rationalize a Biblical passage with something we found. It’s sort of like if your buddy tells you he built a house by himself and you find Chinese notes scribbled on some of the doorframes, and then assume that it means your buddy knows Chinese but never told you.

Naturally, dinosaurs are prominent in the “museum” since they prove kind of a difficult topic for Bible Beaters. All evidence says dinosaurs went extinct long before people showed up (if for no reason other than prior to our finding their remains there’s no record of them), but obviously that doesn’t mesh. So there are completely hilarious sculptures of people with dinosaurs and explanations for how they got on the ark.

Yes, there were dinosaurs on the ark, didn’t you know? According to the CM, they were actually quite small, the size of a pony. More than that, they were all vegetarians prior to Adam’s sin! In fact, everything ate plants, there was no such thing as a carnivore six thousand years ago (being that that’s how old Earth is). Somehow, over the course of a few thousand years, a phenomenally complex hierarchy amongst the animal kingdom.

Nevermind that there are theories that humans aren’t conditioned to drink milk beyond infancy despite taking a whack at it for a few hundred years, apparently it’s possible not only for animals to instantly go from eating plants to eating each other, but they can set up a food-chain for convenience, all in a few millenia.

Things come to a head when this doozy of an “answer” pops up.

Every so often I am hit by something so incredibly stupid that I quite literally am rendered speechless. When I saw this photograph, I stared at it for a good 30 to 40 seconds before being capable of thinking in words. Look at it again. Take a moment. Let it sink in.

They are defending the viewpoint that dinosaurs lived with humans…

…which is only because the Bible says they had to…

…by bringing up dragons.

They invoke a creature of which there is no evidence, in order to explain how a creature of which there is a lot of evidence, got into a situation of which there is no evidence.

I’m not sure I can properly explain just how moronic this is, but I’ll try anyway. Imagine if someone asked you how you can be so sure that God talks to people, and your response is that movies like “Oh God!” starring John Denver are so common that we know they must be true.

This is why, to return to my initial premise, I’m convinced this is all a joke. A gigantic parody that’s meant to exploit the easily deluded and attract those who would mock them, and take money from both parties. From saying that there was no disease prior to Adam’s sin, to claiming dinosaurs all ate plants and somehow turned into dragons after the flood, there is no way that anyone could actually believe this.

It’s a mockery, a spoof, satire. It’s the Landover Baptist website turned three-dimensional. Someone please, please tell me this isn’t for real.