Warning: Zach you’ve just entered a “no spin zone”
That’s right, you heard me! it’s time for you to put your money where your mouth is. It’s time for you to take a bite out of Bill O’Reilly like Scruff McGruff does to unemployed black men. Zach are you ready to BLOVIATE with Bill? I hope you are because i have just signed you up to be one of 6, count em’, 6 lucky SOB’s to debate Bill O’Reilly Live on Fox News’ numero uno show, “the O’reilly Factor.” It’s so exciting, it is like Mr. O’Reilly’s very own little Willy Wonka adventure, and you are my sweet little agustus gloop.
But, let’s get down to business. It’s time to put down the Ben and Jerry’s ice cream and boycott the Jolly Green Mountain State, the evil Vermont. That’s right, due to the 4th Reich of Vermonts refusal to punish Judge Ed Cashman. (who you may recall as the judge who was too soft in dealing with a suspected child molester, stating that the man needed treatment along with sentencing, and is now seen as enemy number 1 to all bible totting bleeding heart conservatives all around this country.) we all must now Boycott Vermont. they must be punished for their backing of this so called “man” who did not deal out a death sentence to this child molester.
Ok, you caught me, i don’t really care about any of these people. I dont care about the victim, i dont care about the judge. no, Im a realist, and i understand that all i want is whatever benifits me most. I can prove it. i like Michael Jackson’s music, and i dont care how many times he has to squeeze Macauley Caulkins steamin hot 12 year old ass to make and produce it. no, i dont care at all, as long as i get to enjoy the musical stylings of Jacko. (come on a voice over by Vincent Price, classic)
So about this judge. Im happy he did what he did. he stood firm and was not swayed by the people and groups who think they know better. i am sick and tired of all of these bible totting bleeding heart conservatives who use religion to justify their being 100% insane. Look at how many people use the Bible to justify what they are doing. have the pro-life abortion critics who kill planned parenthood doctors every seen in another light. you see they too use the bible to justify their actions. but by saying that, guess who’s group they get placed into, Osama Bin Laden’s terrorist cell, who uses the same biblical principals to justify killing. but we do not look at these pro-life extremist in the same way as we look at muslim extremist, why do you think that is?
I’ll tell you why. Because Jesus would have registered as a republican. That’s right, if these people are correct, and know what Jesus’ message really is then i say embrace it. we should not “turn the other cheek” as otherwise suggested, but instead take Jesus’ choosen path for dealing with life’s little problems…eye for an eye, a direct course of action. kill and punish everyone….for everything….Bush is on the right path. with his Macheavellian campaign of “the ends justify the means.” whats the difference between doing the right thing, and doing the wrong thing? who cares! as long as the problem gets solved. so i say, kill chester the molester and any other dipshit that steps out of line, let your babies grow up to be cowboys, and let the government keep taps on all of us so we dont become “Dangerous” citizens. hey, it’s what the bible tells us to do, right?
Vote Bush 84′……opps, sorry George “Orwell” Bush, i meant to say 08′
I dont think we have had a good old fashion inquistition in years. hell, lets celebrate with a picinic. i’ll bring the hot dog, you bring the bun.
that’s all i’ve got for you this week. just remember, im not a business man. i’m a business, man.
…Oh baby, that was sexy. take note of the B-Boy stance and i’ll see you later.
keep the faith
p.s. sorry if it seems like i was rambling. it’s 2am on a weds morning and i havent seen the monitor clearly since 12:30